.Miss Effa;

he looked into my eyes

5:10 AM

me and awak went to the airport yesterday...

it was the most meaningful and touching day for me...as usual,we sat at the viewingmall and spent our time together..
at first we got bored..then he played with my handphone.

the exciting part started...
we played the staring game...(where we looked into each other eyes.)
he really looked into my eyes.deeply.hold on to my hands..

he said,"awak,i love you.."

i replied,"i love you too"

then he said,"awak im sorry about the past, forgive me,i didnt mean it to.but it just happen like that...:

he kissed my forehead

i did not said anything because i felt like bursting into tears..
i hugged him so tight,i never felt this way before...he was so sincere.i never seen him so sincere before...haiz...

after hugging him tightly,suddenly i broke into tears...

he wiped away my tears..and told me not to cry...

dear,i was so touch over your speech..but during that 4 months,eventhough it was the past...what had happened,still hurts me like a thousand knives..
but i love u ok..dun worry...promise me it wont happen again...

after 4 months apart...

4:04 AM

yes..after 4 months apart, he finaly came back..came back into my heart..
i still feel that it's all in a dream...i still cant face to reality that he's back...
somehow he promised that those nightmares i had for the past 4 months will nevr happen again...i love u..

so...yesterday,he came to my house...he bought ferrero roche for my mom..
haha after 4 months we finaly meet..i hug him so tight.so tight that he cant breathe..god i miss him like fuck...

however...my heart felt uneasy yesterday..as if im still mad over what had happened...i can forgive him..but how much i've suffered,i can never forget...
i still love him though...but those hurtful days can never be erased..soon hopefully..

he was so cute...his hair is still the same...but damn,he became so materialistic..
and he said that i change..."more mature and pweety" hehe...*blush*
ooh well in that 4 months my appearance and style did change.. from baggy jeans to skinny jeans..no eye liners to thick eye liners...
i became crazy for awhile..but he didnt know that haha..

so we watched 'shooter' and did spend time together..but we did not get horny or wat...the weirdess thing was that the way he looked into my eyes wen we talked,was so deep...he kept on staring into my eyes...haiz..i miss those days...
and i can really felt the love of him the way he looked into my eyes...

by the end of the day,hhe had to go..but that day wasnt enough for me...it was really short...and i dont wanna let him go...it was so hard...i sent him till the bus stop, hugged him for like 4 times...tightly..insisting him not to go...we kissed...but it wasnt enough! ergh!

haiz...so i went back home feeling so moody...i didnt know why..i wanto spend more time with him..because i know that the next time we're gonna meet will be like so long....

baby i love u..you are my life..my happiest moment werent complete if you werent by my side....

god is always fair :)

7:38 AM

WE ARE BACK!!! (Well soon)

thank you awak..for shining my heart..thank u awak for giving me a chance to love u again..

thank you awak for bringin me back the smile onto my face..words can never describe how happy i am this moment...

for 4 months i waited..i prayed for u to come back..and now u come back making my every single dream of u,come true...

now..i feel so secure..in ur arms..

hold on to those promises...hold on to it awak..

Love in my eyes

11:35 AM

awak...im really sorry if im being too paranoid..i didnt mean it.maybe it's because im too afraid that i might lose u again..im too afraid that it might happen again..i want to protect this relationship..i will try to change awak..i want to prove to u..that i can make u happy..
i love you no matter what happens.and u know that awak..

ive been crying and praying...not to let this happen again.and i shall becareful with my words..

awak...i cant live without u.i feel lonely awak...

please come back...
i promise that i will be more mature and calm...

its been a long time..now that uve come back,i feel alive again.but are u sincere???
please open up ur heart awak..let me be ur baby angel again..

emptiness

12:55 AM

today,i just feel bored..and,i dnt know..empty??
he said that he is happy now..and i really do feel that he is happy now,without me..
so just be it..it's ok..if he is happy without me,as long as he is happy now,i somehow feel happy for him too..and after all those misunderstanding,anger,sadness,disappointment,finally it's all over...

yesterday i was fucking bored la..it was teachers day..i thought of going back to primary school.but i was too early..anderson primary school doesnt have half day for teachers day..
boohoohoo..(sarcastic)

anyway,i went to mac with my brudder lurps..they treat me!!!
haha..luv ya..
after that i went to the kfc to hang out wit these bunch of skaters for awhile..they were playing psp..and i was like wondering.."skaters?kfc?playing psp?" hahaha..
but it was fun though..

then i went to the library to check out my frenstr..suddenly met up wit zulhaziq and gang..he felt pity seeing me all alone doing stupid things..so he accompany me..hehe..zul,got gal oredy..

around 3pm
i went back home..i was fucking bored today..i cant help it la..i checked my hp and i got a miss call from valerie.she told me that they wanted to ask me to join them go orchard..they thought of buying the same pencil box together..but i didnt answered her call..so they went home..argghhh!!! what a day...i should have brought my hp..

i called khatijah then(my old sch fren) i was so angry la..ive been calling for like 1 week and she did not answered..finaly she called me back..i scold her ah..but her reason was prepaid low..haha.ok i understand..hehe..
den i met her up..i went to a condo.but the fucking security guard dnt let me in...so i called up nattanich..haha..nabei! i went to the wrong condo la!!
so i met them..finally..and we had our reunion at nattanich house...we had fun la..they were all from basketball but..i dnt mind...at least ive grown taller than one of those basketball players..haha!

i went back home around 7..no one was at home..so i decided to call up frens..but a lot of them did not answered..excuses!
so i checked my contact list again.and i saw zak's name..so i called him up..hah! he wasnt busy..
thanx zak..
den i received a msg from fwenfwen yusri..he asked me to call him.so i did it and he has this problem..haiz..relationship and stuff..poor fwen2...nevermind.i'll be behind u! with a spear! hehe..

10.30pm
sleeping time!! zzzzzzzzzZZZZzzz

2:49 AM

boo! me and my cuzz..arwis..went to esplnade to study..but in the end,we got bored and we went to waterfest at the NDP platform..the seats were empty so we decided to take pictures!
pictures and more pictures! hehe! actually waterfest was quite boring la..haha...
so we decided to eat dinner wit my cousin's friends..and one of them is such a hottay! haha!
it was the first time i went home very late..and i really enjoyed the last part of our journey..haikal treat us ice cream! ouh and arwis friends were so friendly...i loike..hehe.

otw to mrt station..love the shadow<3>

cheh ber-posing2 sey..haha:)

luckily i managed to went reached home before my mum and dad reached.phew..:)

great job effa!

1:32 AM

went to arab street today..for photo shooting.at first met up wit epul..as usual,i was late..haha.
found out erdha was crying..i got so mad about wat had happened..i felt like punching someone face..
then we continued our destination..we took some photos..then i was damn hungry la..haha.so we went to eat at ZAMZAM...after that we went to flee market and i bought a bag for six bucks!!:)
it was raining..so we didnt get to take much pictures la..but the place was really cooolll...:)

it was th first time i met shaiful..so i was quite nervous..but i stil have the guts! hehe..:)

eventhough the trip to arab street was short..we had so much fun!!!hehe..i loike...<3